Shannon Rose
by TJ87
Summary: This is my first attempt at fanfiction, please be kind. A 15yr old secret is revealed. Finally updated!
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer- I do not own "Star Trek: Voyager", and in no way do I profit from this.

This is the story about Shannon Rose and her journey to self discovery and finding her family.

Authors Note: I am new to fan fiction writing and this is my first ever published story, so please be kind

Criticism it okay but please not flames!!

***P.S- if I get some reviews and people like it I will write more.

Shannon Rose

Did you ever have a life changing moment, where suddenly everything in your past made sense? Well, I did. My first was on my twelfth birthday. I remember being really excited. You see, in my parents family, turning twelve was like the beginning in your adulthood. Only mine wasn't as exciting as I thought it was going to be; at least not good exciting.

After my party, my parents sat down with me and dropped a bomb. They told me of their struggle to have children, and how for ten years they tried everything the doctors could think of to have their own child. But nothing worked. Naturally, I was confused until they told me I was adopted.

After that, my relationship with my parents was changed forever. Up until that point, I was daddy's little girl. Thinking back on it, I don't know who really incited the change. I suppose it was a mutual effort. My parents wanted to give me space to come to terms with my newly acquired information, and I felt betrayed. I thought that their distance was because they no longer loved me. I know now that it was illogical, but what twelve-year-old is?

My next life changing moment happened at the age of fourteen. My parents died in a shuttle accident. Their shuttle was leaving Planet Utopia and the engine overloaded. Starfleet said it was a freak accident. My parents had no family, so I was sent to a group home or other wise know as an orphanage.

The officials at Child Services said that my birth parents had signed away their rights, and there was a note placed in my file that they were not to be contacted. I don't know what urged me to try on my own, but I thought that my parents had to at least cared about me -maybe even loved me. They had me and gave me to a good family when they could have had the pregnancy terminated. So I decided if the people at the group home were not going to help me, then I would find my parents myself.

This began my year long search for my birth parents.

It took me almost two months until I found a remote location were I could hack into the computer at the group home, and about another month until I had the opportunity to get the information. One afternoon, I was waiting and the group leader went out to go grocery shopping -I was home sick with the Rigallion flu. Getting in was pretty easy for a gifted fourteen-year-old, and the home didn't have a lot of security. I downloaded my file to a computer and went back to my room so no one would find out.

Getting the information that easy should have been my first clue that it would not be that simple. All of the information that I needed was encrypted with Starfleet command codes. The names and addresses. It said that my mother was twenty-seven-years-old and was a Starfleet officer, and that my father was killed in -of all things- a shuttle crash at the age of 29; he was also a Starfleet officer. It stated that my mother gave me up so that I would have a family. That was all that is said -there was nothing in the file about not contacting her. But all of the more personal information was encrypted.

After trying all that I could to get to the information, I decided to get the names of all of the female humans who were in Starfleet and my mother's age. But the list came out to 12,876 names.

I knew that it was impossible to find all of those women. So at that point, I gave up.

About three weeks later, I was at a cafe with my two friends from school and we were watching news videos about the starship, _Voyager_, and how it was official lost and the crew declared dead. One of my friends mentioned that I could pass as the captain's doppelganger. I hadn't really noticed until I looked up her service record later that night. I had the same hair color and same eye color. I was even almost the same build and only about an inch taller. I read through her record: she was the right age. It also mentioned that at the age of twenty-seven, her fiancé and father were killed in a shuttle crash. Eight months before I was born!


	2. Chapter 2

Disclaimer- I do not own Startrek Voyager, and in no way do I profit from this.

This is the story about Shannon Rose and her journey to self discovery and finding her family.

Authors Note: I am new to fanfiction writing and this is my first ever published story, so please be kind

criticism it okay but please not flames!! Also I don't have a yet beta , so please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes, hey I'm not perfect! I am in the process of getting a beta thanks to the offers!

***P.S- if I get some reviews and people like it I will write more.

Thanks to the people who added me to there story alert, that made my day!!

Thanks to the two people who left me review I really appreciate it, and it made my week!!

**Also I think next chapter maybe in Gretchen Janeway's POV, Let me know what you think. Don't worry I will put Kathryn Janeway in I am just leading up to that!

**___________________________________________________________________________________**

**Chapter 2- Seeing the Janeways**

The moment I looked at Captain Kathryn Elizabeth Janeway's profile I felt this connection to her. That was what freaked me out the most, sure I read about adopted children meeting their birth parents and having a connection. It would be weird not to right, this woman carried me inside her for nine months. But is it possible to just see a picture of someone and fell a connection, or am I just imagining this feeling?

Two days later I was at the same Cafe with my friend Annie and I heard these voices from the booth behind us I wasn't really paying attention to them but I overheard them talking about voyager and someone named Kathryn. Of course Annie having this superhuman hearing ability ( or maybe it was part of her genetically engineering? heard everything. She then turned around and looked at the women, when she turned around her eyes were practically bugging out of her head.

I got up and walked out, I don't know why but I was scared of them, of being one of them? Maybe because for the past several years I was told that my mother didn't want me and I pictured her as some bum or young teen who didn't love me. I never thought about ht e possibility that my mother was somebody,that she is smart and pretty, and that I have a family. It was all too much, finding them after I thought that I would be alone the rest of my life. As I was walking done the crowded streets of paris all of these morbid thoughts came flying in to my head at warp speed. What if they don;t want to know me or do they even know that I exist? Would they even believe me? What would I even tell them? Do I just walk up to them and say "Hi I am an orphan girl and I saw a picture of your famous daughter, you know the one who was on the ship voyager and I think I am her daughter that she may have given up for adoption years ago." Then they would most likely call starfleet security and I would spend the rest of my life in New Zealand! Then of course there is the fact that she was just declared dead, how do you tell someone your maybe there dead daughters child she gave up?


	3. Chapter 3

Disclaimer- I do not own Startrek Voyager, and in no way do I profit from this.

This is the story about Shannon Rose and her journey to self discovery and finding her family.

Authors Note: I am new to fanfiction writing and this is my first ever published story, so please be kind

criticism it okay but please not flames!! Also I don't have a yet beta , so please forgive any spelling or grammar mistakes, hey I'm not perfect! I am in the process of getting a beta thanks to the offers!

_**Noticed how short my last chapter was, so I posted three also. This Gretchen Janeways POV. I tried my best to capture her personality. Enjoy_

Chapter 3- Gretchen's POV

Its been almost two years since Kathryn's ship was lost in the bad land, and then two months ago Admiral Own Paris contacted me and told me that starfleet was calling off the search and that Voyager was declared officially lost. I though about giving him a piece of my mind, the I remember I wasn't the only one who lost a child. Tom Paris was on that ship, at least I got to hug my Katie and tell her I loved her before Voyager left. Owen didn't his son was in New Zealand for months before voyager left on its mission.

What really upsets me most is all of the unfinished things Katie had. Her daughter, a daughter she last saw when she was born. The last conversation I had with Katie was about her, Shannon was the name Katie picked out of course the agency told us there was no guarantee that the adoptive parents would keep the name. But Katie still referred to her as Shannon. Katie had contacted tha adoption agency and asked them to send a message to the adoptive parents, I never did find out what it said.

After the shuttle accident that took my husband and my future son-in-law Katie was a different person, more driven. She started to clam up. Heck, it took Phoebe almost two months to get her out of that darn bed and get to get on with her life. I will never forget the look on her face when she told me she was pregnant, she was so scared and excited at the same time. She later told me that she was scared of how I was going ot react! I thought that was funny, a twenty seven year old woman scared of her mother, I just told her that I would support her in any way that I could. Secretly I thought that a baby would bring her back, only it seemed to take her further away.

Phoebe's voice brings me back to reality as she vents about star fleet giving up on Voyager and her sister. I calmly tell her that Kathryn always has a way of surprising us ans to not give up hope yet. She just huffs and tries to glare at me, which I promptly return and wither her glare. It was then that I notice a young brunette Girl looking at us with these huge eyes, I smile at her and she quickly turns around to face her companion.

Phoebe then started to tell me about this man she met at her art show this week end, when this red head girl rushes out. I notice the brunette girl gathering her things to go after her. Something tells me to go after her, so I quickly grab my bag and tell Phoebe I'll be back.

Thanks everyone for reading. I will post another chapter soon. Next chapter will be when Gretchen goes after Shannon. Please review and let me know how I did with Gretchen, or with any ideas. Thanks


	4. Chapter 4

Disclaimer- I do not own Startrek Voyager, and in no way do I profit from this.

This is the story about Shannon Rose and her journey to self discovery and finding her family.

Authors Note: I am new to fanfiction writing and this is my first ever published story, so please be kind

criticism it okay but please not flames!!

* Thanks so much to my Beta : Pepper9873

Chapter 4

I had almost made it to the transport station when I felt someone grab my arm and turn me around. I came face to face with my friend Annie, and boy did she look mad.

"I never pegged you for a coward, Shannon," she yelled at me. I turned and crossed my arms in front of me.

"Maybe you don't know me like you thought you did," I whispered.

"Bull shit!" she said walking in front of me. Her face softened when she saw the tears in my eyes.

Then she did something that was out of character for her -she hugged me. Annie was what all our friends call a tom boy. She is bossy, yes; but she never wears dresses. I think that may be from having five brothers. Something I always envied her for. I have always wanted siblings; it wasn't till I found out I was adopted that I understood why my parents never had other children.

At that moment, I notice one of the women from the café; she was standing there staring at me with her hand over her mouth.

Annie let go of me and looked at the woman. She stuck her hand out and introduced herself. "Hi, I'm Anna Sanchez; this is my friend Shannon Alvarez"

The woman took her hand. "My name is Gretchen Janeway. I believe I'm your grandmother."

I think I stood their in shock for a couple moments before I realized Gretchen was apologizing. She was saying how her daughter had a baby and gave her up.

"I was adopted as a baby," I said.

That statement made her stop talking, and before I knew it she was hugging me and crying.

It was then that an angry voice made her jump.

"MOM! What are you doing to that girl? Every time we see a girl that looks like our sister she practically attacks her... I'm sorry" The last statement she directed at me and Annie.

The woman then grabbed her arm and tried to pull her away, that only made her mad. " _Phoebe Marie Janeway, let go of me right now_.. _I was hugging my grandbaby!_" she said in this voice that I thought might have scared men twice her size. It worked on Phoebe though -she dropped her arm and backed away, gaping like a fish.

Later that evening I found myself at the Janeway farmhouse in Bloomington, Indiana. The whole way there Phoebe was shooting daggers at me with her eyes. I made sure to take everything in, and for once I felt like I was home. I couldn't explain it but I felt like I knew this place...like it was in my soul.

At dinner Gretchen asked me too many questions to remember. She asked about my adoptive parents, my life, and where I grew up. I was reluctant to tell her about my parents' death. I didn't want her to feel obligated. For me just knowing them was enough; knowing I had someone who loved me.

The clock in the hall chimed. Something I was not use to, being in the 24th century and all. I jumped and Gretchen just laughed. " That's our grandfather clock. Must be around 10pm already."

_Oh , crap,_ I thought. I wasn't supposed to be out longer than 8pm -group home rules. I jumped up. "I'm sorry, but I have to go. I'm late for curfew," I said, rushing in to the living room, and gathering my things as I go.

Gretchen followed me into the living room. " If you give me your parents contact information, I can contact them and tell them your late… maybe even introduce myself and ask if you can spend the night."

I shook my head. I knew Claudia -the woman who ran the group home- wouldn't care.

"No, that's not necessary. I'll explain to my parents when I get home. It's better if they hear it from me," I said in a rush, hoping she'll buy it.

Gretchen went to say something, but Phoebe interrupted her "Mom, it would be better if _she_ talks to her parents. You need to let it sink in for them. They are still her parents."

Gretchen nodded her head and went into the kitchen.

After I left the Janeway house, I ran like a bat out of hell to the transport station. It took me five minutes to get home to San Francisco, but Claudia was waiting for me at the door.

"I knew you would be trouble. So where were you?" she asked standing at there door with a cup of brandy in her hand.

"I was out with a friend, and I lost track of the time. I'm sorry; it won't happen again." I unloaded my stuff on to the coat hooks in the front room. How hard would it be to tell her about my family and wipe that smug look off her face? No, I need to get a few things in order first. I need to make sure that they are my family. A DNA test is in order.

Then Claudia does something I know quiet well. She smirks and pushes a few buttons on her console. Mr. Schrod's face comes up.

"Will? Hi. Alvarez was two hours late for curfew." She smirks again as she says it.

Mr. Schrod's says something I don't really hear. After the comm unit gets deactivated she takes me to my room and pushes me part of the way in.

"You are grounded for two months. _No_ comm unit privileges. No leaving your room, except school and back!" she hisses at me and pushes me in the rest of the way and the door slides shut and locks with a few clicks.

Thanks so much for reading! Please review and let me know what you think, even if you don't like it let me know what I could do to improve it. But please be nice , and no flames.

Another chapter in a couple days!!- Next chapter will be in Captain Kathryn Janeways -POV.


	5. Chapter 5

Disclaimer- I do not own Startrek Voyager, and in no way do I profit from this.

This is the story about Shannon Rose and her journey to self discovery and finding her family.

Authors Note: I am new to fanfiction writing and this is my first ever published story, so please be kind

criticism it okay but please not flames!!

* Thanks so much to my Beta : Pepper9873

Chapter 5

Post-Coda

Kathryn Janeway's POV

As I sit staring out into the water of Lake George, I find myself thinking about the alien who took the form of my father. I remember the cold planet that the shuttle went down on that claimed my father's life -along with my fiancé. The hiss of the holo-deck doors disturbs me my revere. I turn and see Commander Chakotay, my first officer.

"Ah. I thought I would find you here," he said smiling. He walked out onto the sailboat. "You know, I think this maybe one of my new favorite holo-programs."

"My parents use to take me and my younger sister to the lake-house at the end of every summer when I was a child. Then my father made captain and he was always so busy...." I trailed off.

"Is that why you never had children? Because you're afraid that you wouldn't be able to spend time with them?" he asked, not knowing what can of worms he would be opening.

Damn I think I'm spending too much time with Paris. When I did answer him, he came around in front of me and grabbed my chin, tilting my face to look at him. "Kathryn," he said, looking at the tears in my eyes and no doubt running down my cheek, "what is it? Something I said?"  
I shook my head. I didn't know who I was trying to convince, him or me. I walked over to the bench on the starboard deck and sat down on it. "I never told you about the accident that killed my father, did I?" I asked him.

Chakotay shook his head and sat down beside me on the bench. "What happened?"

"We were test flying a prototype shuttle -my father, Justin... and myself." I took a second to wipe my eyes and face.

"Justin?"

I never told him of Justin; it was too painful to bring up.

"Justin was my....fiancé," I told him looking at my hands, "he was killed in the accident also.

"Somehow I was thrown from the wreck. I woke up on the ground and I saw the shuttle sinking into the water." I stood up, and unconsciously rubbed my arms. "It was on Tau Ceti Prime. I remember it was so cold. I saw a console, and tried to get enough power to beam them both out. But I couldn't and I wasn't able to choose between them. My father or Justin.

"I woke up at Starfleet Medical. I thought it was some horrible nightmare at first. But I saw my mother, and I knew it really happened."

Chakotay stood up, moved closer, and pulled me into his arms. "You tried. It wasn't your fault."

"I could have had it all," I cried into his shirt. "But I gave her up. I was scared I would end up like them. So I just gave her away."

"Gave who up, Kathryn?" He pulled back to look into my eyes.

"My daughter." I think it came out as more of a choked sob. After that the damn broke, and I cried myself to sleep in his arms.

I woke sometime later in my quarters in the dark. It took me several seconds to notice the dark figure that was on my chair in my bedroom. It was another second before I realized it was Chakotay.

Groaning, I sat up and slung my legs over the side of the bed. _Note to self: don't fall asleep crying_, I thought, rubbing my temples to try and ease the ache in my head.

I must have made more noise than I realized, because I woke Chakotay up. He stretched and stood up, grinning at me.

"I hope you look worse than you feel, because you look like shit, Kathryn!" he said, trying to lighten the mood.

I smirked at him. "Might want to look in the mirror, Commander."

"Be nice, or I won't get you any coffee."

I groaned and flopped back down on the bed. "I knew I made you first officer for a reason," I said to his back as he walked out the door.

"I heard that!"

A few moments later, he returned with a steaming mug filled with the nectar of the gods! I took the cup from his outstretch hand and took a sip. I frowned when I noticed he was grinning at me.

"What?" I asked.

"Hmm? Oh, it's just you act like you wouldn't survive without coffee. Nice to know you're human."

"Of course I could survive without coffee. Although, I'm not sure the crew would survive _me_."

There was an awkward silence; then Chakotay sat on the bed next to me. "Do you want to talk about her?"

"Who? Oh… I don't think I really ever have," I said, looking into the cup, staring at the dark liquid. "When I was pregnant, mom wouldn't let me near this stuff. She practically banned if from the house. One day, Admiral Ponsby came over for a visit; you should have seen the look on his face when mom told him she had the replicator fixed so it wouldn't make coffee!"

He smiled. "I sure he knew better than to take on a Janeway woman."

I smiled at that -remembering my family back in the Alpha Quadrant.

"After the accident I went into a deep depression. One doctor called it Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, and another said it was 'Survivor's Guilt'.

"After a couple weeks, my younger sister, Phoebe, came marching into my room to yell at me to get my butt out of bed. I just rolled over the other way. As you know, we Janeway women can be really stubborn. She then came back with a bucket and dumped freezing water on me. She yelled at me some more, saying that daddy and Justin wouldn't want me wasting away mourning over them.

"She was right, of course, but I hated that two people that I loved had just died, and everyone else wanted me to just go on with my life." I looked up at him. Of all the people on this ship he probably understood me more than anyone. Chakotay had this look on his face; it was the same pained expression he had on the day before when I had "died", and he was rocking my body back and forth. He swallowed and opened his mouth to say something, but instead took a sip of his tea.

"When Admiral Harris told me about Dorvan I felt the same way. Here was this organization that I vowed to serve and standby and they were telling me they did all they could and that it could not have been stopped. I think that was what made it worse. They wouldn't admit that there mistakes got my family killed."

He looked up startled "Jeez, I'm sorry, Kathryn. This is suppose to be about you, not me; you don't need to hear my issues."

"Chakotay, you're always such a good friend, putting everyone else ahead of yourself. You always make yourself available to everyone if they need to talk. Of course you deserve someone to listen to you." I took his hand. "I'm not the only one who went through things: everyone has ghosts in their past."

He nodded, still looking uncomfortable.

"Did you name her?" he asked, trying to change the subject.

I swallowed the last of my coffee and nodded. "Yes. But I was told that the adoptive parents were still given the option of changing it. I named her Shannon. Shannon Rose. Justin's grandmother was named Rose, and he said if he ever had a daughter, he wanted to have her middle name be Rose. So it seemed fitting."

He grabbed my hand. "It's a beautiful name. If the adoptive parents didn't keep it, they're idiots." He smiled.

"She looked so much like me. I don't know which one is worse: her looking so much like me or looking nothing like him. In a way I was relieved, but I still feel horrible. I mean, he died; you would think I would want our child to look like him, right? But I didn't. I wasn't sure if I could handle it: a teenager coming to look for me and looking just like him." I spoke so I fast I wasn't sure he even understood. But he nodded in understanding.

"When I was a child, my older sister had a baby to her husband, Gavin. When my nephew was about a month old, he was killed in a climbing accident. My sister was so upset, every time she looked at Che-lo she would break down in these heart wrenching sobs. My father would take me and Che-lo out in the woods. That was one of the last things I remember of them." he said softly.

I leaned over and wiped his tears away.

"You never talk of them much. I guess I understand, talking about my father and Justin is painful. Like opening an old wound."

"The time is 0500 hours. The time is 0500 hours," the computer chimes. I called for the computer to reset the alarm for 24hrs.

"Guess it's time to get back to duty." I said, standing up and holding out my hand for him.

He saluted. "Yes, Ma'am,"

__________________________________________________________________________________

Thanks so much for reading! Please **review** and let me know what you think, even if you don't like it let me know what I could do to improve it. But please be nice , and no flames.

*I have classes for the next couple of days so now new chapters til this weekend, sorry. ** Bu**t maybe if I get a lot of reviews I'll be inspired to procrastinate some of my school work and get one done sooner :)


	6. Chapter 6

Disclaimer- I do not own Startrek voyager, nor do I profit from this in anyway.

A/N- Sorry for making you wait so long, I got bombarded with school work and could not in any way get any from it. Thanks for all the great reviews. I will try to get another chapter up in a couple days.

Summary- Shannon was a normal teenager, until she found out she was adopted. If that wasn't enough her parents died and she was left alone, her only hope at being a part of a family was to search for her biological parents. This lead her to the Janeway's, where life was anything but boring!

_**Chapter 6 – Two weeks after chapter 4**_

In a farmhouse in Bloomington Indiana, Gretchen Janeway sat in front of her comm unit. On the screen in front of her was Admiral Owen Paris.

"Yes, I know I have to give her time, Owen, but it's been two weeks and I haven't heard anything from Shannon," Gretchen said, sighing exasperatedly

"Gretchen, there was no DNA testing done, and the adoption records are sealed. You have to make sure this isn't some trick; especially with _Voyager_ gaining all of this recognition."

"She's my grand-baby, Owen. Don't try and tell me to turn her away. I have a chance to get a piece of Katie back…I just need to know she's alright," Gretchen said quietly.

"I'll look in to it. Did she say what her adoptive parents' names are? Where they live? Anything?"

Gretchen sighed "No. She didn't seem to want to talk about it. He friend introduced her as Shannon Alvarez. That's all. She looked just liked Katie. You'll know when you find her."

"I'll try my best, Gretchen. Let me know if she contacts you. I'll be in touch shortly" Owen said as the screen went black.

"He doesn't believe her either, Mom. We need to get a blood test done. This girl could be some con artist," Phoebe Janeway said, coming into view.

Gretchen turned to her youngest daughter and stood up from the chair. "Phoebe, that girl is your niece. I know it. I held her after she was born, and I felt this connection -the same one I felt with you and your sister. .And...and that day I held her out side the cafe in Paris, it felt the same; she is Kathryn's daughter." Tears filled Gretchen's eyes. "I am going to find her. She's in trouble -I know it- and I need to help her. I have to do this for Katie; she would want me to."

Phoebe went over to her mother and put he hands on Gretchen's arms. "I just don't want you to get hurt. I don't want you to cry anymore. We need to move on and heal. I miss Katie so much; and every time I look at that girl I just keep remembering her. I hate that I feel that way about her -I know she's innocent- but I can't help it!" Phoebe cried, burying her head into Gretchen's shoulder. Gretchen just rubbed her back and let her cry.

For several days the Janeway's waited for word from Admiral Owen Paris. One afternoon -about a week later- the comm unit chimes. Gretchen and Phoebe were having breakfast; they both glanced at it, knowing whoever was contacting them at 0700 was only doing so for important information. Gretchen got up and sat in front o f the unit. She took a deep breath and answered.

"Hello, Owen,"

"Gretchen. Sorry to call so early. I found Shannon," he replied

"That's great!" she said, then she noticed his face. "What's the matter? Please tell me. She isn't..."

"No, she's not dead. She's at Starfleet Medical."

"Is she alright?"

"I'll be there in a minute, okay?" he said evasively.

She nodded.

Phoebe came up behind her and placed a hand on Gretchen's shoulder.

"We'll see you in a moment, Admiral," she answered for her mother.

Admiral Paris nodded and hit the end button. A moment later, he materialized in the Janeway living room and turned to Gretchen.

"Owen, please tell me what happened," she pleaded.

"When you contacted me earlier, I looked into the adoption. It turns out a Science officer that served aboard the _Al-Batani_ with Kathryn, named Mary Alvarez, and her husband Ken Alvarez, adopted Shannon. No one knew that the adoptive parents and the birth mother knew each other. Mary and Ken Alvarez were killed in a shuttle accident about a year ago. Shannon was later placed into a group home." He let them process what he was saying. "When I got to the group home, Carla, the woman in charge of running the home, said she hadn't seen her in two weeks. She said Shannon ran away. Turns out, this woman has a history with kids running away, so I had security search the home. They found Shannon in the basement in some kind of closet; she had been in there for three days."

"Oh God." Gretchen cried, leaning into Phoebe.

"The doctors want her to stay in the hospital for a couple days, but she's fine. She's mal-nourished and dehydrated, but she'll be fine."

"Thank goodness," Phoebe said.

He nodded in agreement.

"There is one thing we have to take care of. I'm assuming you'll want custody of her?"

Gretchen nodded

"Good. I'll have a legal attorney come over, and we'll file the papers. Then we can go over to the hospital. Shannon should be awake by then."

Thanks for reading, I hope you enjoyed it. Please, please review!! TJ


	7. Chapter 7

Disclaimer-I don't own Startrek Voyager, and in no way do I profit from this.

A/N_ This is my first story, so please review and let me know what you think. But please no flames, criticism is okay.

** Thanks so much to Pepper9873 for being an awesome beta!!

** Thanks to the people who review your great and I really appreciate it!

**Chapter-7**

It was eight days before the doctors at Starfleet Medical let Shannon go home with Gretchen. In all of that time, Shannon had refused to talk about what happened in the group home. She would only reply with, "I'm fine" when asked how she was or if she was okay. As funny as it was to Gretchen how a like mother and daughter were -having never met-, this also concerned her. The counselor told Gretchen to give her time to come to terms with everything -that a lot has happened in the past couple of weeks. So that's what she decided to do, for a little while at least.

The night that Shannon was released, the custody paperwork came through, allowing Shannon to go home with the Janeways. Gretchen was thrilled, but Shannon didn't seem to really care. When they told her she would be going home with Gretchen, she just shrugged. Everyone assumed it was because of what had happened in the group home,-that she was still trying to come to terms with everything.

Two weeks went by, and all Shannon would do was sit in her room and read; she only came downstairs for meals. No matter how hard Gretchen tried to get her to open up, she would only say that she didn't want to talk about what happened and walk away. Gretchen decided that enough was enough and she was going to get through to Shannon no matter what. She marched up the stairs to Shannon's room and opened the door. she saw the teenager sitting by the window, looking out in to the stars. Gretchen came over and sat by her.

"Katie use to sit here when she was younger, just like this. Probably dreaming of being up in the stars," she said more to herself then to Shannon

"Did she always want to be in Starfleet?" Shannon asked. She realized she really didn't know anything about her biological mother.

"Since she was about five or six. Before that she wanted to be a ballerina." Gretchen smiled.

"When I was little I wanted to be a musician. My father was a concert pianist. When he and my moth…err _adopted_ mother got married, he went to teach a Julliard. I wanted to be just like him." Shannon had tears on her cheeks.

Gretchen wiped away her tears "You can talk about them -I won't get angry. I'm just glad you had parents who loved you. Even if it was only for a short time. It sounds like they were wonderful people." She put her hand on Shannon's cheek. "What was you mother like?"

"She was a doctor. She worked in this clinic in Arizona. When I was twelve, after I got over my desire to be a pianist, I decided to be a doctor like her. To help people and save lives; it always seemed like the greatest job to me. I wasn't as close to her as I was with my father. I never told her who proud I was to be her daughter. I guess it turns out I wasn't her daughter anyways." Shannon sighed. "They told me I was adopted on my twelfth birthday. Who does that? Birthdays are suppose to be happy. I was so angry at them that I didn't talk to them for weeks. Then it seemed like nothing between us was the same." Shannon finished and wiped her nose on the tissue Gretchen handed her.

"I'm sure they loved you very much. They probably we're unsure of how you would react to the news of being adopted. The just wanted you to adjust to it." Gretchen placed her hand on her shoulder in very much the same way as her oldest daughter.

"You may not know this, but you have had people who loved you all of your life. Your adoptive parents. Katie -she loved you very much. It broke her to give you up, but she was convinced she couldn't give you the life you deserved. She still blamed herself for Edward and Justin's death. She was in the shuttle with them, and was thrown free. Did you know that?"

"No, I guess I never really thought of that. So she gave me up to punish herself?" Shannon asked

Gretchen nodded.

"That's kinda sadistic, isn't it?" She asked, trying to lighten the mood.

"Kathryn has a… What would you call it? A tendency to blame herself for things she had no control over. She tends to second guess herself, and usually feels bad about decisions she's made."

"I wish I could have met her. Told her that I had good parents. Before they died, nothing bad had ever happened to me. I was devastated, and they had no family so I had to stay at that group home. And the woman who ran it hated me. No one has ever hated me before and I didn't even know why she hated me. It's not like it was my fault my parents died!" Shannon said upset and almost yelling.

Gretchen went to hug her but Shannon got up and moved away.

"I hate that I don't have control of my life. Why did you tell them to let me come here? All I do is remind you of your dead daughter."

Gretchen looked at her with confused.

But Shannon continued. "I see the look on your face when you look at me Looking at me makes you sad. Why do you want me if I make you sad? Do you even want me here, or is this just because I have no where else to go? Because, if it is, I can take care of myself!"

Gretchen calmly got up and sat next to her on the bed where she had moved to. "When I look at you, I do see Katie. You are so much like her that, yes, it does make me a little sad. But I love you, Shannon. When I found out that Kathryn was pregnant with you, I was so happy. And when she decided to give you up, it almost broke me. I had to be strong for her though. Before _Voyager_ left two years ago, Katie was engaged to a man named Mark Johnson. Right before she left, she told him about you. It was around your birthday, and she wanted him to know because she had contacted your parents. That's why they told you about her; she had asked them if she could meet you. But them _Voyager_ disappeared, and they didn't want to tell you yet."

"They knew who my mom was?" Shannon asked.

"I think they knew her name. But _Voyager_ wasn't lost yet, and it hadn't gained any popularity. Just know that I do want you here. I wanted you here before I found out that your parents had passed away. I will always want you here. I love you. I have loved you since you were born -just a little baby, with bright red hair and a scrunched up pink face. Katie loved you, too. Never forget that. She thought about you all the time. She just wanted you to be happy and have a normal family. But she loved you very much." Gretchen kissed Shannon on the forehead, stood up and walked to the window.

"Sometimes, I look up in the sky and I try and pretend that she's not dead. That she's on her way home and I'll get to meet her. Is that silly? To try to hold on to hope that she isn't dead."

"No, not at all. I do it everyday. Katie is stubborn, and she has survived worse." Gretchen said turning around. "Just don't let it stop you from living your life. She wouldn't want that" She smiled. "I'm going to turn in for the night If you need anything, you know where to find me."

Thanks for reading, please take one minute and review even if it is a one wood review anything is great thanks!! P.S-Next chapter will be in KJ's POV!!


	8. Chapter 8

Disclaimer: I don't own Star trek Voyager, nor do I profit from this in any way.

A/N: Thanks for reading and please review!

Sorry for the delay was bogged down with school work and a sick toddler!

*Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

* Thanks to Pepper9873 for being an awesome beta!!

Chapter 8

_Post "Favorite Son"_

Kathryn Janeway sat on the sofa in her living room, staring at an old box sitting on the table in front of her when the chime to her door rang.

"Come in," she called out

"I just came to see if you would like to join me in the mess hall for dinner. Kathryn?" Chakotay asked walking in front of her.

"No thanks, I think I'll just get something from my replicator tonight," she replied, still looking at the box.

"Is everything alright?"

"Yes. No. I'm not sure. I keep thinking about what happened on the planet."

"I see: Harry being –supposedly- from different parents"

She nodded

"I use to be good at putting this in the back of my mind. For years I would only let myself think of her on July 21st That was, _is_, her birthday." She sighed and leaned back against the sofa. "Now, no matter what I do, I keep being drawn back to her. Where is she? Is she happy? Does she even know she was adopted?"

Chakotay come over and sat on the sofa next to her.

"Maybe, when you where on Earth, there was always the opportunity to see her -contact her. But now, we don't know when we are going to get home. If we ever do. What is that saying? 'You always want what you can't have' I know this is different, but when my parent were alive, I never saw them more than I had to; now that they are gone, I feel I am always thinking of them. Before I did my best to forget them," He said, looking at the box. "So, I have to ask: what's in the box?"

"Mementos. Things I locked away that reminded me of Shannon" She then reached out and opened the box.

I kept them so I had proof that she actually existed. That it wasn't some dream" Then she lifted out a pink teddy bear. "My sister got this when she was born. She told me to keep it so I always had her first bear. Phoebe and my mom wanted me to keep her. They were so upset when I gave her up." Next, she lifted out a pink and blue baby hat.

"The hat they put on her after she was born. She had my red hair. I thought for sure she would have dark hair -Justin had black hair."

Then she pulled out a pink blanket. She set it on the table and un-wrapped a picture frame. Inside was a picture of a newborn. She lifted the frame and gently ran her fingers over the picture. She handed the picture of the baby to Chakotay. He took it and studied it.

"She's beautiful. She looks just like you," he said.

Kathryn nodded and stared out the view port.

"She was so small. The doctor said she was the normal size, but she seemed so tiny and fragile. I was scared to hold her; when they handed her to me I started to cry and refused to take her. But my mother was there and she coaxed me into it. When I held her, I never knew it was possible to love someone so much. It was then that I realized I couldn't give her what she deserved. She deserved a family: a mom, dad, sibling, and even a dog. I lived on a Star-ship. This was before I went to command school. I was just promoted to lieutenant, so I knew I wouldn't be able to get a planet-side job."

"Did you get to pick the adoptive parents?"

She shook her head as she wiped her eyes.

"No. I just asked them to name her Shannon. Shannon Rose. I already told you that before. I got to specify two parents if in Starfleet. Later on, when I met them, Mary and Ken Alvarez, they were everything I wanted for her. I actually served aboard the _Al-Batani_ with Mary before she finished medical school. Ken was a piano teacher at Julliard."

"You met them later on?" he asked

"Yes. Before _Voyager_ left After Mark and I became engage. He already knew I was pregnant before -he assumed I lost the baby. I found out later most people did. They just assumed she died. I told him the truth and he said I should contact her, get to know her. So I contacted the agency and arranged a meeting between Mary and Ken. They asked for a couple weeks to tell her. So we were to meet up after I got back. But -as you know- that never happened. I keep wondering: did they tell her and then found out what happened? I should have waited to contact them. What if they told her, and then _Voyager_ disappeared, and she had to find out she would never see me." She ran her hand through her hair.

"Kathryn, don't beat yourself up over this. You don't know what happened. You may never know," Chakotay said, trying to comfort her. He was unprepared when she stood up angrily.

"I am responsible for this _all_ of this. I should have resigned from Starfleet and kept her. Then none of this would have happened. I wouldn't have gotten _Voyager_ stuck in the Delta Quadrant."


	9. Chapter 9

Disclaimer: I don't own Star trek Voyager, nor do I profit from this in any way.

A/N: Thanks for reading and please review!

*Thanks to everyone who reviewed!

* Thanks to Pepper9873 for being an awesome beta!!

Chapter 9 

Shannon Alvarez, soon to be Janeway, or was it Janeway-Alvarez going to be only Janeway again? That she wasn't really sure of. In fact, it seemed she was unsure of a lot of things now. That bothered Shannon immensely; she was always confident for the most part and well liked, but ever since she found the Janeways that all changed. She was unsure of where she belonged, at home and at school. At home she tried to be herself and open up to Gretchen, but every time she did, Gretchen would get that look. The one that told her she was thinking of Kathryn Janeway. A women who she shared family and DNA with, but whom she also started to despise. Yes, she was ashamed to admit it, but she hated her own mother. A mother she never even met. Maybe that was part of the problem. Here was this woman who everyone loved and who had been taken away, and all they could say to Shannon was how much she looked like her. How much she reminded them of Kathryn Janeway. She went from being Shannon Alvarez, the girl whose parents died to, Kathryn Janeway's long lost clone, and she wasn't sure at the moment which was worse!

Gretchen Janeway was a wonderful woman and a natural born grandmother, and Phoebe Janeway seemed to be warming up to her too, but they were constantly comparing her to a woman she never even met. Tonight took the cake though. Gretchen wanted to introduce her to the rest of the Janeway family and friends of the family. But that had been a disaster. The moment she walked into the room everyone went quiet and just stared at her, until a elderly woman named Aunt Martha ran to her and enveloped her in a bear hug.

"My God, Gretchen, she looks just like Katie!" Martha said to Gretchen, holding Shannon at arms length.

Gretchen wrapped her arm around Shannon s shoulder.

"It's the dominant Janeway genes," Phoebe joked, looking at Shannon who had been quietly taking in all the people staring at her.

"Come on, let's mingle, sweetheart. You have a lot of people who want to meet you," Gretchen said, leading Shannon around the room.

_More like a lot of people who want to gawk at my resemblance to there long lost "Katie", _she thought.

That was how the rest of the night went up. Until now, that had caused Shannon to hide in the backyard. She heard the backdoor open and decided she wanted to ignore who ever had been rude enough to intrude on her time out from reality, until she felt something lick her hand. Startled, she looked down and found a red dog nuzzling her hand.

"I'm sorry, she normally isn't that friendly," a man with gray hair said. "Not that she's mean, just normally shy. You must remind her of Kathryn. I'm sorry, you've probably heard that a lot tonight." He grabbed the dog and pulled her away.

"Yeah. Apparently I could be her clone," she said sarcastically

"Not quiet, but the resemblance is palpable. I'm Mark Johnson. I am -_was_- engaged to Kathryn." He stuck his hand out.

Shannon took it and shook his hand.

"Shannon. But you probably already knew that huh?" She was curious about the man who was planning to marry her mother.

"Yes, Kathryn told me about you. Well, not much. She didn't know much, but she did name you," he stuttered. It seemed she was really was a Janeway. At least according to the death glare she just sent his way.

"Gretchen told me. Apparently after some ancestor she immortalized or something like that." She leaned down to pet the red haired dog. "What's her name?" She asked, referring to the dog.

"Oh, Molly. She was Kathryn's dog. I was keeping her at my house until she got back," he said, watching the younger Janeway play with the dog, who up until that day moped around the house looking for her long lost master.

"Molly's an Irish Setter, right?" Shannon asked, ribbing Molly's stomach as the dog happily laid down and rapidly moved her back leg.

Mark could only nod speechless. This was the same dog who laid at the door day after day. Who he had to practically drag out the door to go to the bathroom.

"Wow, what did you feed that dog? She hasn't acted like that in years," Phoebe exclaimed, coming into view.

"It wasn't anything I did," he said watching the two interact. After that Mark left Molly at the Janeway house, it seemed she had chosen a new owner on her own.

Later that night after all the guests had left -all those except the newly acquired family dog- the Janeway women sat at the table drinking coffee.

"Guess even her addiction was genetic," Phoebe commented.

Gretchen rolled her eyes at this.

"Actually, my adopted father and I use to drink coffee and sit on the beach," Shannon commented, standing up to put her empty mug in the sink. "Just because I'm her daughter, it doesn't change who I was. People think because I'm a Janeway now that I changed, or that I need to be just like her. I'm my own person, not some clone! Ever since I got her all everyone says is how much I look like her. Like it's some miracle that I look like her. I mean, I do have half her genes, but I'm not her. I'll never be her, and I can't bring her back!!" She ran up stairs, leaving Phoebe and Gretchen flabbergasted in her wake.

Shannon busted into her room, and stopped suddenly looking at the decorations. _Even this room is hers_, she thought, looking at the holo-images scattered around of Kathryn Janeway and her school friends or family photos. Nothing in the room was Shannon s except her clothes and a lone holo-image on the night stand of her adopted parents. _How can you be open and be you self when you have to live in someone's shadow all the time. _

Shannon sat on the bed and stared at the wall with all of her mother's awards and trophies on it. _Even in death I'll never be as good as she is! _That was when she spotted the white, leather-bound journal behind the picture of her mother and a dark hair, blue eyed man sitting on the porch. Shannon walked over and reached out to grab it, then pulled her hand back slightly. _Maybe I should just leave it alone .Nah. What's she gonna do, haunt me for reading her diar?_ Taking the book, she headed back to the bed, then thought better of it. She opened the window, and climbed out to sit on the porch roof.

_Dear Shannon,_

_ I'm sure this is ridiculous to write to you when, well, when your still inside me. Wow, that still sounds weird to say. I keep thinking this is some strange dream and I'm going to wake up. But everyone keeps reminding me it, err, _you_, won't got away or vanish. Sometimes I think that would be simpler, not that I could ever hurt you. Your apart of me and Justin - the only thing I have left of him. _

_ You see, Justin is your father. He died about six months ago in a shuttle crash on Tau Ceti Prime along with my father -your grandfather. By some sick twist of fate, I was thrown free and woke up on the ice in time to watch the shuttle sink. I never told anyone about the console -it was the in front of me with enough power to save one of them. Only I couldn't choose: my father or the love of my life. I just hope you won't hate me if you every find out. I hate myself enough for both of us. The counselors say it's called "Survivor's Guilt". Though I'm not sure how I am surviving. If it wasn't for Phoebe, I __would still be in bed. Phoebe had always be stronger then me. She doesn't believe me, but I know it's true._

_ I keep telling myself I shouldn't get too attached. I know you deserve so much more than me. You deserve to grow up with two parents who can look at you without remembering some horrible accident. But I find myself loving you more everyday. Today was the first time I felt you respond to me. I patted my stomach and you kicked, almost like you were telling me it was going to be okay. I know it's silly, but I think you maybe my saving grace. I think now everything maybe okay, that I can get through this. I know this maybe the hardest thing I'll ever do -giving you up. Momma and Phoebe think I am at least considering keeping you, but I know deep down that you will have a better life with out me, at least right now. I'm not fit enough to be a parent. I don't deserve it. _

Hi, THANKS for reading and please, please review and let me know what you think. Let me know what you think of the "Diary Thing" not sure if I should continue it?


	10. Chapter 10

**Disclaimer_**Unfortunately I don't own _Star Trek : Voyager_, and I do not profit from this is any way!!

**A/N: **Thanks for the people who reviewed, it always encourages me to keep going!

*** Thanks to My awesome Beta , ****Pepper9873 ***

Summary: Shannon contemplates her feeling for her mother and how she fits in to the Janeway life

Chapter 10

Sometime later that night, Shannon lay on the bed, staring at the ceiling, thinking of the secret journal her mother wrote to her. Although the book was nearly filled, she had only read the one passage. The first one her mother had written talked of her guilt and her decision to give her unborn daughter up to strangers. The journal was a window into her mother's soul. The question was: is she ready to have it opened for her to view?

Hearing someone tell you your mother loved you, and hearing it from her -in Shannon's case reading- are two different things. It was around that time that there was a knock on the door.

"Shannon, is it okay for me to come in?" Gretchen's voice was heard through the old fashion wood door.

Shannon jumped up, grabbed the white leather bound book, and stuffed it in her night stand. "Yeah you can come in," she called through the door to Gretchen.

The door inched open and Gretchen peeked her head around the corner.

"Are you sure? I could give you some time alone."

Shannon shook her head, her auburn curls bouncing. "No...I'm sorry I freaked out on you and Phoebe." She sat back down on the bed. I know everyone isn't doing it on purpose." Shannon sighed and rubbed her face.

Gretchen had to bite her tongue to tell her how much she acted like Katie. "Sweet heart, the only reason everyone is telling you how much you are like her is not just because you look like her. It's for you. The family knows you never knew her and they are trying to not only keep a piece of her alive for themselves, but for you. They're trying to tell you things about her in their own non-discrete way." She sat on the bed and put an arm around Shannon. "It's okay to ask about her, you know. I won't be mad or upset."

"So, everyone telling me how much I'm like her isn't some way of trying to get me to replace her?" she asked, trying to understand just what Gretchen was saying.

Gretchen smiled the famous crooked smile and nodded her head. "You really are so similar to her, but there are things I see in you that I know are uniquely you! And I'm sorry if you feel uncomfortable when people tell you how much you are like her."

"I feel like the only thing people see me as is Kathryn Janeway's long lost daughter. Her mini-me!" Shannon said standing up and walking to the window "If she was alive, do you think I would still feel like this?"

Gretchen walked over and sat on the bench by the window. "Feel like what, sweetie?"

"I know, I love her, she was my mother But I-I'm mad at her! For giving me up. For getting lost. For going to my parents and asking to meet me. I know that I shouldn't be, but that's how I feel. And I hate that I feel that way -that she makes me feel that way." Shannon had tears in her eyes

"No, sweetheart, don't. You have a right to be angry. I know I was. I was pissed that she died. That she took _Voyager_. I think we all are in our own way, but we deal with it. And you don't let it run your life." Gretchen grabbed Shannon's hands.

"I-I found something earlier, and I wasn't sure if I should show you," Shannon said, feeling bad for hiding the journal from her grandmother.

"What is it?" Gretchen asked, curious as to what she was talking about.

Shannon got up, got the journal out of the nightstand, and handed it over to Gretchen.

Gretchen smiled and lightly fingered the word "journal" on the front cover. She then handed it back to Shannon without reading it.

"I found this right before you were born. You should keep it. Katie would want you to have it," Gretchen told her when she saw her confused look.

Shannon nodded and unconsciously held the book to her chest. Gretchen got up and leaned over to place a kiss on Shannon's forehead, then moved to the door. Shannon s voice stopped her.

"She really loved me. I know you said she did, but reading it -knowing she wrote it- and even acknowledge she did it made it more believable.

"She loved you more than life itself. She gave up her own happiness so you would have a good life."

Shannon just nodded tears in her eyes.

"I was thinking, would you like to redecorate the guest room? For you? Or, we could redecorate this room, if you want to stay in here. The guest room is a little bigger and has a-" Gretchen started to say.

"Can I stay in here? Like this for a little. I mean, it might help me, but maybe we could redecorate if that is okay with you. If not, I'll take the guest room."

"I'll call someone in the morning. We could take a little room from the office and add a bathroom for you."

A couple days later, Shannon stood at the doorway of her newly redone room. She had decided on a lavender color as the base color with some darker purple. In the one corner of the room sat a desk made of cherry wood -the same desk her mother sat at and worked on her school work. Phoebe painted a picture with some purple flowers that now hung over the four post bed also mad of cherry wood, like the rest of the furniture. She walked over to the newly acquired book shelf and lightly ran her fingers over the leather bound books -ones that had belonged to her mother. She smiled lightly. Maybe everyone was right: she's very similar to her biological mother. From her addiction to coffee, to her love of books. Not PADDS, but old-fashioned books. Gretchen seemed to know these things somehow.

"That was one of your mother favorite. It's about an old, Irish house. I always thought it was old reading a novel about a house. But Katie loved anything that had to do with Irish culture," Gretchen said seeing the book in Shannon's hand.

"My father always use to say: "You have to know where you come from to know where you're going." I guess that's why I started looking for my birth parents when they died. My father was adopted, too. Ironic since his birth parents died when he was a baby, so he never knew them."

Gretchen nodded and looked around the room.

"It looks good. Very sophisticated." She put her arm around Shannon's shoulder.

"What do you think about redoing the guest room with the furniture from here? That way you don't have to get rid of mom's stuff." Shannon asked, not realizing her slip of the tongue.

Gretchen had, but just nodded, and made an excuse to get out of the room.

Gretchen entered the kitchen and wiped her eyes. Phoebe noticed her looking upset.

"Mom, what's the matter?" Phoebe asked going over to her mother.

Gretchen smiled through her tears. "She called Katie 'mom'."She smiled at Phoebe.

" Oh, I guess I never notice that she never called her that. Just my 'biological mother', huh?"

Gretchen nodded. "She's finally settling in. She wanted to know if we could use Katie's old furniture we took out of the room and put it in the guest room." She sat at the table.

"Mom, we need to move on. Katie wouldn't want us to dwell on her death. We need to have Shannon accept that she's dead," Phoebe huffed as she continued to make coffee.

"I know. I know. But how can we force her to do something I can't even do? When your father died, I could accept it because I felt it. I just knew he was gone. But with Katie, I don't feel like she's dead." She pointed to her heart. "I would feel it in here."

Phoebe continued to stare out the kitchen window. Gretchen sighed and walked out into the living room.

"I know. I don't feel it either," Phoebe whispered to the room, wiping her tears.

_Maybe I'm being too hard? No, someone has to be strong, and if Kathryn isn't here to do it, then I have to!_ Phoebe thought to herself.

" I wish there was a sign or some kind of definitive proof. I just hope if you are alive out there some where, Katie, some how let us know it. Soon!" she whispered to the sky. "You should see her, Shannon. She's so much like you it's scary. Thank God we found her. I don't know what mom would do if we didn't have her. I don't know what I would do."

Thanks for reading and Please, Please review and let me know what you think!

Next Chapter will take place on _Voyager, _around_ Scorpion._


	11. Chapter 11

Disclaimer- Sadly I do not own Star trek: Voyager and I do not profit from this in any way, except from the occasional ego boost from the reviews ( Hint, Hint)

A/N: Sorry it took so long for an update, life got in the way. Darn those exams!! Thanks for reading and I know this is short so I posted another chapter so please no reviews yelling at me for that!

* But I would appreciate some reviews telling me what you would like to see happen! Thanks so much and enjoy.

Chapter 11

It was a Sunday afternoon in the Janeway home. Gretchen, Phoebe, and Shannon were having lunch and talking about Shannon's recent acceptance to Starfleet. Earlier that morning, Shannon had told her grandmother and aunt of the letter she received from Starfleet of her early admittance. Needless to say they were a little upset.

"I know you and Phoebe don't want me to go, but I want to do this. It's Starfleet Medical, the best medical school in the federation, and I was accepted early. They hardly ever accept anyone under the age of eighteen." She looked at Gretchen with a pleading look in her eyes

"I know you want to do this, I just think you need to think about this. We all need to think about this"

"Think about this? I can't believe you guys are even considering this. Starfleet took Daddy, Justin, and even Katie," Phoebe cried out, slamming her hand down on the table. Shannon flinched

"I need to do this. Grandma, even you said Starfleet is in our blood. It's who I am. My parents were Starfleet. I know I didn't know them, but I have to do this. It's what I'm suppose to do. I know it." Shannon said, looking between Phoebe and Gretchen.

"Alright, just think it over for a couple days before you give them your final answer. Maybe you should look into some other schools first. Just to be sure." Gretchen said.

Phoebe opened her mouth to say something, but was interrupted by the doorbell.

Shannon looked at Gretchen. No one ever came on Sundays without calling first. Gretchen gave Phoebe her we'll-finish-this-later look, and got up to answer the door.

On the other side of the door were Admiral Paris and his wife, Elizabeth. As soon as Gretchen opened the door, Elizabeth launched herself into Gretchen's arms.

"They're alive, Gretchen. They're alive!" she cried, hugging her childhood friend. When she finally pulled back, Gretchen looked at the them with wide eyes.

Owen just nodded

"How? Where are they?" She motioned for them to come in.

"Why don't we sit down? Are Phoebe and Shannon in?" Admiral Owen Paris asked. Gretchen nodded

"Why don't you sit in the front room, and I'll go get them" She walked into the dining room

Phoebe looked up from her plate and saw Gretchen.

"Mom, what happened?" Phoebe said, seeing the tears in her mother's eyes.

"They're alive. Owen and Lizzy are here in the front room," She said, walking into the hall again.

Shannon looked at Phoebe with wide eyes. Phoebe pushed her chair back and followed Gretchen, calling for Shannon to hurry up as she left.

A minute later, Shannon walked into the room to see her aunt and grandmother embracing.

Admiral Paris explained about the EMH, only telling them he was transported from some alien technology, and saying the rest was classified.

Shannon was curious and expected Gretchen and Phoebe to be too, but they made no argument about the classified statement. Gretchen, Phoebe, and the Parises jumped for joy at knowing their family was alive.

Shannon was dwelling on the fact that her mom was alive, but she might not see her for 60 years -if she ever would. She'd be seventy-five-years-old, and her mother would be around 102.

Admiral Paris told them to draft a short letter to her, since they were going to allow each crew member two letters.

Gretchen and Phoebe decided to allow Mark a letter, and that they would send a family letter to her. They all sat at the table and, half an hour later, were writing the letter.

Gretchen wrote that they were all fine, and told Kathryn about finding Shannon and that she was living with them. That was all they could tell her in the small amount of space they were given.


	12. Chapter 12

**Disclaimer- ** I don't own Star Trek :Voyager and I don't profit from this in any way.

A/N: I know this chapter is very short so please forgive me, I posted another kinda short chapter to make up for it.

also any suggestions for the next couple chapters I would greatly appreciate I'm kinda stuck at this point. Thanks so much.

**Chapter 12**

Kathryn Janeway sat in her dark quarters looking out into the stars. In her hand was a letter Seven had brought to her an hour ago. The letter was the last to come through the array, and was from her family. Her mother said they were all well. All including her daughter, who was indeed named Shannon, and was living with her mother. Kathryn reached up and wiped her cheeks when the chime sounded. She smiled, calling for the person to enter, knowing just who it would be.

"Do you have some sort of sixth sense, Chakotay?" she called in the dark. "Computer: light to 50%."

"Not really. I just thought you could use a shoulder to lean on. Seven mentioned to me that she got the last letter out," Chakotay said, walking over to the view port where she was sitting.

"Really? Sometimes she surprises me how she can read human emotions so well. And so...not at times." She smiled a crooked smile at him.

He just chuckled.

"So, I'll tell you mine if you tell me yours," He waved the PADD in his hand. One she never noticed he was caring.

"It's from my mother. Here, you can read it, I don't mind." She handed him the letter.

_Dear Kathryn, _

_ You can't imagine the joy we felt finding out you and your crew are alive. Owen says to try and keep it short, so I will try! The first thing I will say is everyone is well. Molly included. The most important thing is about Shannon. Well, there is no easy way to say this, but Mary and Ken Alvarez were killed in a shuttle crash last year, and Shannon came to live with us. It was a true miracle. Not that death is happy. But finding Shannon helped to ease the pain of you being gone. She looks more like you now than the day she was born -if you can believe that. Her personality is more of a combination of you and Phoebe's. It has been interesting and challenging for all of us, but it has been most definitely worth it. _

_ I hope someday we will be able to speak to you, or even to hear how you are, and how you are holding up. Just remember, Katie, we love you. And there will be a candle in the window for you. Be safe and happy. _

_ Love Mom, Phoebe, and Shannon_

Chakotay reached over and grabbed her hand.

"Kathryn, that's great I mean, wow."

She nodded, wiping her eyes again.

"My mother was right: it was some kind of miracle. Or if I believed in them it would be," she said.

He smiled, and then remembered his letter.

"I'm afraid my letter doesn't have good news though," he said.

She squeezed his hand

"I know: the Maquis. I'm so sorry, Chakotay." She reached forward and pulled him into a hug, and let him cry on her shoulder like she had done so many times with him. "It's okay, let it out," she whispered to him, rubbing his back.

The next morning, Kathryn was seated at her work station in her quarters trying to write a letter to her family, or more like the daughter she gave up. She had gotten as far as "dear Shannon", when a snore caught he attention, and a head with black hair popped up on the couch.

"Hey. I thought you might sleep through you shift!" she said as Chakotay got off the couch and rubbed his palms in his eyes.

"Urgh. What time is it?" he asked

"A little after 0700," she said, putting the PADD she was working on down. "Wanna go get some breakfast in the mess hall? I think Neelix maybe making something remotely edible." She stood up and brushed her uniform pants.

"Yeah, just give me 15 minutes to hop in the sonic shower and change," he said, walking out the door. He stopped mid-step and went over to hug her.

"Thank you for last night," he said.

She waved him in dismissal

"Don't worry about it. My policy is to let at least one crew member snot on my uniform a month. Keeps me human," she joked, patting him on the shoulder.

"I didn't snot your uniform up!" he said defensively.

She gave him a "yeah right" look

"Okay, maybe I did a little. Would you like me to replicate you a new one?" he asked looking sheepish.

She shook her head

"Nah, it already had a coffee stain on it," she called over her shoulder going into her bedroom.

"I'll meet you in the mess in 15," he called. He heard a muffled response that he took for an OK.

Thanks for reading and PLEASE , PLEASE REVIEW and let me know if you have any suggestions. Thanks so much!


	13. Chapter 13

Disclaimer: I do not own_ Star Trek :Voyager_, Nor do I profit from this.

A/N: Thanks for all the reviews. Sorry it took so long to update, I had to do a lot of traveling for the holidays. Working on a another chapter now, hope to have it up in a couple days!

Chapter 13 Post _Pathfinder_

When I started my second year at the academy, the novelty of everything wore off. People began to see me as more than "the daughter of the captain on the ship lost in the DQ". Not that I minded as much as I use to. People began to see me as my own, so I was fairly surprised when I was walking through campus one morning, and everyone was pointing and whispering; it wasn't until my friend, Joey Carey, ran up to me.

"Did you see the news videos?" he asked out of breathe

"No, why? Let me guess: something about _Voyager's_ on there?" I asked sarcastically.

"Oh, yeah. You'll never believe what." He leaded me to a coffee shop

I walked in not expecting to hear my mother's voice on the news.

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway, do you read me?"

"Captain, this is Lt. Reginald Barklay at Starfleet Command." Some guy said.

"It's good to hear your voice, lieutenant. We've been waiting a long time for this moment."

"The feeling is mutual. Unfortunately, the micro-worm hole is collapsing; we have only a few moments."

"Understood. We're transmitting our ships logs, crew reports, and navigational records to you now."

"Acknowledged, and we're sending you some information on some new hyper sub-space technology. We're hoping to use it eventually to keep in regular contact. Including some recommended modifications on your comm system," Lt. Barklay said.

"We'll implement them as soon as possible."

"There is someone else here who would also like to say something."

"That was part of the recording released from Starfleet this morning after they made contact with the starship_,_ _Voyager_, which was thrown across the galaxy into the Delta Quadrant nearly five years ago," The reporter said.

I felt tears in my eyes as I looked at Joey.

"I have to go home. My grandma," I said, running out the door to the nearest transport station.

I got to the house in about two minutes after the guy at the transporter station recognized me from the news and let me through. Normally I would have denied who I was and refused the special treatment, but today I decided to ignore it and get home ASAP.

I ran into the kitchen and almost knocked Aunt Phoebe over in the process.

"Whoa, where's the fire? Forget a text or something?" she asked.

I motioned to the video screen in the kitchen.

"Turn on the news. _Voyager_," I managed to choke out, still catching my breathe.

She rushed over -probably fearing the worst-, only to catch the last part of the famous conversation being played over and over again. Around the time they had started over, my grandma walked in and heared beginning.

"This is Captain Kathryn Janeway, do you read me?" my mother's voice rang out into the deathly quiet kitchen. Grandma had to sit down in the nearest chair to keep from falling over.

Later that evening Grandma threw together an in-prompt-to party for the "Voyager Family", Over the past two years we had all bonded over the lost loved one we had. That was where I met the Carey boys: Joe -or Joey as he was called- and James. They were a year apart, so I was technically closer in age to James, but I was in the same class as Joey so we were closer. Mrs. Kim was in the kitchen with Grandma helping to set up the food, and Sekaya was in the room with us. Sekaya is Commander Chakotay's younger sister. She found out about her brother last year. She was young when there planet was destroyed, and was sent to Earth to live with relative unbeknownst to Chakotay. I guess my mom won't be the only one getting a long lost relative. I smiled at the animated way her and Aunt Phoebe were talking to Stephanie Torres, a relative of B'Elanna Torres.

I was brought out of my people watching by T'Pel –Tuvok's wife. She was on Earth visiting her middle son who was at Starfleet Academy for an exchange program for the Vulcan Science Academy. T'pel has a strong maternal side, something that I would never have thought I would see in a Vulcan. She deemed herself my godmother, since it was only logical since my mother was to her two children. Not that I minded when she invited me on holidays and special occasions to visit Vulcan. Last summer, I stayed on Vulcan for three weeks with her youngest daughter, Azil, who became a good friend. She plans on attending Starfleet Medical next term.

I smiled at T'pel, and accepted the plate of food from her. She sat down beside me and picked up her own plate.

"You must be emotional after hearing you mother's voice," she stated, but to me it seemed like a question.

"Yeah, I guess. I hope I'll be able to talk to her, or at least send a letter. I would like to get to know her; not just hear about her from everyone."

"It would seem to me that, by hearing about her from other people, you were then getting to her. Learning about who she was in the past would be congruent to knowing her in the present and future." She looked at the rest of the people in the room with a curiosity. I liked that about her. Most Vulcans look at humans with annoyance and superiority, but T'pel and her children were always polite and seemed interested in humanity.

After the party had winded down, it was just Grandma, Aunt Phoebe, the Parises , Kims, and T'Pel. Mrs. Kim, Mrs. Paris, and grandma were cleaning up while Mr. Kim and Admiral Paris where talking in the den. I was in the living room with Aunt Phoebe and T'pel after being kicked out of the kitchen. It's not like I can burn anything when the stuff is already cooked! But grandma doesn't like to take any risks. I silently vowed to myself that I would break this horrible family curse and learn to cook. I dared not voice this again; last time I said it grandma and Phoebe were just about rolling on the floor in laughter. Last summer, I asked T'pel to teach me, and she said it was only logical for me to learn in a school. If Vulcans could look scared I swear she did for a couple seconds. Kathryn Janeway had to have burned down someone's kitchen or something.

* I had to do something about the lack of cooking thing. I find it hilarious how she had burned several things on Voyager! Please review!!!


	14. Chapter 14

Disclaimer- I do not own _Voyager_, nor do I profit in any monetary way!

A/N- Sorry it took so long, I had a bad case of writers block. I hope this gets me back on the wagon again!

Chapter 14

Season 6 – 18 years old

Shannon sat on the dock and looked over the lake, she felt like chucking the padd in her hands right in to the water. Her recent draft of her first letter to her mother was in her opinion a complete disaster. _How do you talk to a woman you've never met, but know more about than any other person in your life? _she thought.

The past week, Starfleet had sent out a message informing them that _Voyager_ would be in regular contact with the federation. Today was the deadline for the next batch of messages for the data stream. When the stream came in she was hoping to receive a message from her mother. The family did, but she didn't. It was a general "I'm fine. How are you? Hope to talk to you soon. Love, Katie." Not even half a page. The worst part was Grandma and Phoebe were so happy about it, and she had stormed out of the room.

Now she understood her mothers dilemma: how to open the channels of communication. Shannon began to wonder if she even wanted to hear from her -the old insecurities came back full force. Ones she hadn't had in four years. Not since she first moved in to the Janeway's home -her home now.

Maybe she should have joined that group Deanna Troi had suggested after her counseling session almost two years ago. After it was reported that _Voyager_ was alive, Starfleet had offered counseling sessions for the family members of _Voyager_. Grandma had suggested she at least try it, luck had it she was assigned to Deanna Troi.

Counselor Troi had met with her and suggested she join this support group of teens who were adopted and dealing with there biological parents being back in there lives. Shannon had not so politely declined and left the session, only to have Deanna Troi show up for dinner the next night and to have a family session with them. Turns out the whole family had an "allergy" to shrinks!

* * *

Shannon sighed and punched the button on the PADD to clear it. Deciding to start over and start a general letter to her mother.

Kathryn Janeway looked at the letter in her hands that she received from the data stream this morning. Cadet Shannon Rose Janeway. The letter was fairly long, and she wondered if it be better to read it in the morning after the day she had? She sighed and sat the letter on the table in front of her. She picked up her coffee cup and for the first time in a long time wished for a Red Alert. When it was clear she would not get her wish she picked up the PADD and pressed her thumb over the activation button.

To: Janeway, Kathryn Captain USS Voyager

CC:

From: Janeway, Shannon Cadet Starfleet Medical

_Dear Kathryn, _

_ I'm not really sure what to write about. Ironic because since I was 12 years old all I wanted was a chance to be able to talk to you, to meet you. Grandma says that if any one can bring a ship home from 70,000 light years away, you can do it by sheer force of will alone. I hope she is right and I get the chance to meet you someday. For the past four years everyone has told me stories about you and what you're like. At first I didn't want to listen, I was so angry at the time. Angry at my adopted parents, at you, and even Grandma. But she helped me work thought a lot of that and even help me see your reasoning. I want you to know I had a great childhood, and parents who loved me very much, who I loved. I never lacked anything and I was a daddy's girl in every way. When they died my sole reason for living was the hope of finding you. When I found out you were gone, I was devastated. Grandma took me in and gave me a family again. She helped me get to know you, who you were, and that you loved me. _

_ At first everyone kept comparing me to you. Everyone I met would tell me how much I looked like yo,u or how much my mannerisms were like yours. Even Grandma did at first. After several screaming matches we came to understand each other. She needed me to remember you, and I needed her to know who you were -are. I thought that should be something you should know first. I wanted you to know I love you and hope to be able to meet you soon. Be safe and come home soon. _

_Love, Shannon_

* * *

A/N- Sorry it took so long to up date, had a bad case of writers block. PLEASE REVIEW and let me know what you think. Feel free to send me any ideas or requests of what you would like to see happen. Thanks for reading!


	15. Authors Notes

Authors Note:

Hi Everyone, I know its been forever. I am thinking og getting back into this story. School out for the summer and I am not taking any summer courses, so I have the time. If anyone is interested review and let me know ~ Also I had a beta, lost her email. If ur reading this shoot me a PM, or if anyone else is interested let me know. Thanks a bunch, TJ


End file.
